Navigating the Holidays With Stage 4 Cancer
Navigating the Holidays With Stage 4 Cancer – Finding Peace & Hope
The holiday season is often described as joyful, busy, bright, and full of celebrations. But for those living with stage 4 cancer, this time of year can feel very different. Between medical appointments, treatment side effects, emotional fatigue, and the pressure to “be cheerful,” the holidays may bring a mix of hope, sadness, gratitude, and uncertainty.
If you’re navigating this season while managing stage 4 cancer, or supporting someone who is, here are a few gentle reminders and practical ways to make space for what matters most.
1. Give Yourself Permission to Feel What You Feel
The holidays can intensify emotions. You may feel joy, grief, gratitude, fear, or even all of them in the same day. This is normal.
You do not need to force holiday cheer or pretend that everything is fine. Allow yourself to feel what arises—without judgment. Your emotional experience is valid, and honoring it is an important part of caring for yourself.
2. Set Realistic Expectations
Traditions may look different this year, and that’s okay.
You don’t have to host large gatherings, attend every event, or keep up with holiday tasks if they leave you exhausted. Simplifying plans can actually create more meaningful moments with the people who matter most.
Consider options such as:
- Smaller or shorter gatherings
- Delegating holiday cooking or decorating
- Choosing experiences over expectations
- Letting loved ones know your limits ahead of time
Your energy is precious. Protect it gently.
3. Create New Traditions That Bring Comfort
If old traditions feel overwhelming or bittersweet, it may help to introduce new ones that honor where you are now.
Some ideas include:
- A quiet Christmas morning walk
- Lighting a candle for peace or remembrance
- Watching a favorite holiday movie
- Writing gratitude notes
- Sharing simple moments with family at home
New traditions are not a replacement for old ones—they’re an invitation to be present in the season as it is.
4. Let People Help You (Even If It Feels Hard)
The people who love you want to support you. Allowing them to help—with meals, errands, decorating, or simply keeping you company—can bring comfort to both sides.
If you’re not sure what to ask for, consider saying:
“I don’t know what I need right now, but I could use company.”
“Could you help with ___ this week?”
“I’d love it if you could check in by text every few days.”
Community matters, especially during the holidays.
5. Make Space for Rest and Reflection
The holidays can move fast, even when your body needs to move slowly. Make room for rest, stillness, and moments that bring you grounding.
You may find encouragement in:
- Gentle breathing
- Prayer or meditation
- Listening to peaceful holiday music
- Journaling your hopes for the season
These simple practices can help bring peace in a season that often feels rushed.
A Gentle Space for Hope This Holiday Season
If you’re looking for a supportive place to pause, breathe, and find meaning this Christmas season, we invite you to join us for our upcoming virtual retreat:
Strength for the Journey — Free Virtual Event
December 5, 2025 | 12–1:30 PM EST
Led by:
- Dr. Sharon May, Ph.D., LMFT — internationally recognized therapist & author
- Dr. Sylvia Fredj, MCC, NBC-HWC — nationally board-certified health & wellness coach
This month’s theme, “Merry Christmas,” offers compassionate space for those walking through stage 4 cancer. Together, we will reflect, connect, and rediscover joy during a season often overshadowed by treatment, appointments, and uncertainty.
You do not have to carry the holidays alone. Learn more about our upcoming virtual support.
6. Hold Onto Hope—Even in Small Moments
Hope doesn’t always look big or loud. Sometimes it looks like:
- A quiet morning without pain
- Laughter with someone you love
- A warm blanket and a favorite book
- Light catching the edge of a Christmas ornament
These small moments matter. They can be reminders that beauty and meaning are still present, even in difficult seasons.
You Are Not Alone This Holiday Season
Navigating the holidays with stage 4 cancer is complex, emotional, and deeply personal. Whether this season brings joy, heaviness, or a mix of both, know that your feelings matter and your journey is honored.
If you need connection, encouragement, or a compassionate community, we welcome you to join us at Strength for the Journey on December 5.
Given 2 Years, Living 13 Strong
Living 13 Years Strong: Debbie’s Stage 4 Lung Cancer Journey of Hope and Persistence
When Debbie was first diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer, doctors told her she might only have one to two years left. Like many patients, she felt overwhelmed and afraid. But instead of giving up, she sought a second opinion and learned that her cancer carried the BRAF mutation. This discovery opened the door to targeted therapy through a clinical trial—something that gave her options beyond traditional chemotherapy and radiation.
Over the last 13 years, Debbie has faced many treatments, side effects, and setbacks, but also many breaks from therapy where she could live life more fully. She has outlived the predictions and now encourages other patients to stay hopeful, ask questions, and keep pushing for answers. Debbie’s story shows how advances in biomarker testing and targeted therapy can turn what once felt like an “end date” into years filled with milestones and new memories.
Her journey reminds us that no one is defined by statistics. For patients with advanced lung cancer, Debbie is living proof that hope, persistence, and medical progress can lead to more time and better quality of life. (Source: GO2 for Lung Cancer)
Safer Cancer Drug Dosing Ahead
Safer Cancer Drug Dosing: ASCO and FDA Push for Optimal, Not Maximum, Doses
Concerns are growing that cancer drugs may be given at higher doses than patients actually need, leading to unnecessary side effects and treatment interruptions. The American Society of Clinical Oncology (ASCO), working with the FDA, has issued new principles urging a shift from the old “maximum tolerated dose” approach toward finding the “optimal effective dose.” This matters for newer treatments like immunotherapies and targeted therapies, where higher doses don’t always improve results but often increase harmful side effects. Patient surveys show many people with advanced cancers struggle with severe treatment side effects, and oncologists frequently lower doses early on to help patients stay on therapy.
To fix this, ASCO recommends designing trials that test multiple dosage levels, tailoring studies to real-world patients, and improving how patient-reported side effects are tracked. These steps align with the FDA’s Project Optimus, which is pushing for better drug dosing in cancer research. For patients, this shift offers hope for treatment that works just as well—or better—while being easier to tolerate, helping people with advanced cancer focus on living fully instead of fighting side effects. (Source: Oncology News Central)
Read the complete article here >
New Clues on How Cancer Spreads
New Clues on Cancer Metastasis: How “Shape-Shifting” Cells Spread and Survive
For decades, doctors have known that cancer’s deadliest threat comes not from the original tumor but from metastasis — when cancer spreads to other parts of the body. Up to 90% of cancer deaths are linked to this process. Now, researchers led by Dr. Joan Massagué at Memorial Sloan Kettering are uncovering important insights into how metastatic cells survive, hide, and return to grow new tumors years later. These “shape-shifting” cells act like stem cells, traveling back in time to earlier, more flexible states that allow them to adapt and resist treatment. They can also slip into dormancy, hiding from the immune system until the conditions are right to awaken and spread again.
Scientists are learning that metastatic cells use different strategies depending on the type of cancer and the organ they invade. They can even change their physical shape to avoid being destroyed by the immune system. These discoveries open new possibilities for treatment — from targeting the hidden “time traveler” state, to waking dormant cells so the immune system can attack them, to blocking proteins that allow cancer cells to evade detection. While challenges remain, Dr. Massagué emphasizes that metastasis is no longer an automatic death sentence. With advances in immunotherapy and targeted research, controlling — and in some cases curing — stage 4 cancer is becoming more possible than ever before. (Source: Memorial Sloan Kettering)
Future of Cancer Screening Shows Hope
Future of Cancer Screening: Multi-Cancer Early Detection Brings New Hope
Most cancers are still found late because only five types—colon, cervical, breast, lung, and prostate—have routine screening. A new direction called multi-cancer early detection (MCED) aims to spot cancers with a single test. Instead of hunting for tiny, hard-to-find tumor DNA fragments in the blood, researchers are building tiny “sensors” that circulate in the body and switch on when they meet enzymes made by early cancer cells. These sensors release a synthetic marker that shows up clearly in samples like urine, creating a much stronger, earlier signal than traditional tests in preclinical studies.
Why it matters: this approach could make screening simpler, more accurate, and more accessible—potentially even via low-cost strips for clinics with limited resources—and may help catch hard-to-find cancers (including lung cancer) sooner, when treatment works best. Logic-based sensor designs (think an “AND” gate requiring multiple cancer signals) may reduce false alarms, and early clinical use could include tracking treatment response or watching for recurrence. Safety testing is still ahead, but progress is rapid. If successful, MCED could shift many diagnoses from late-stage to early-stage—and offer hope and options for people living with or at risk for advanced disease. (Source: MIT Technology Review)
Read the complete article here >
Hiking Through Stage 4 Cancer
Hiking Through Stage 4 Lung Cancer: Gerri’s Story of Strength and Hope
When Gerri was first told she had stage 4 lung cancer with an EGFR mutation, it felt like her world had flipped upside down. An active athlete and tennis pro, she never expected such a diagnosis. But instead of giving in to fear, she chose a path of strength and hope—continuing to hike, kayak, ski, and travel the world with her husband by her side. Just weeks after starting targeted therapy, she hiked 90 miles in Patagonia, a trip she once thought might never happen.
With the support of her family, her oncologist, and a caring social worker, Gerri has embraced both treatment and life’s adventures. She quilts for others, practices qigong, and continues to cross items off her bucket list—now on her second one. For her, lung cancer is only part of the story, not the definition of who she is. Her message to others is clear: keep moving, keep dreaming, and make plans for joy. “Control what you can,” she says, “and live fully with what you’ve been given.” (Source: Gerri Allen, Lung Cancer Survivor Blog)
Living Fully: Joanne’s Cancer Journey
Living Fully with Non-Small Cell Lung Cancer: Joanne’s Story of Hope and Healing
When Joanne was diagnosed with non-small cell lung cancer in 2021, she couldn’t help but ask the same question many patients face: “Why me?” She had lived a healthy lifestyle, exercised, and avoided processed foods, yet found herself retracing her past for answers—secondhand smoke in childhood, brief years of social smoking, exposure to environmental toxins, stress, or perhaps random chance. Her pathology revealed an EGFR mutation, a genetic change often seen in people with little or no smoking history, which allowed her to begin targeted therapy after surgery and chemotherapy.
Over time, Joanne realized that focusing on blame only robs her of peace. Instead, she has chosen to center her life around gratitude, faith, and the love of her husband and community. With new advances in treatment, she believes lung cancer should no longer be viewed as an automatic death sentence or a punishment tied to smoking. Through sharing her story, Joanne hopes to break the stigma, reminding us that compassion and understanding—not judgment—are what every patient deserves. (Source: Joanne Gaget Blog)
Yoga, Meditation, and More Bring Relief
Yoga, Meditation, and Integrative Medicine Ease Cancer Treatment Side Effects
A new clinical trial shows that live, online classes in yoga, meditation, tai chi, and fitness can do more than just help patients feel calmer — they can actually reduce the side effects of cancer treatment. Patients who joined these virtual integrative medicine sessions during chemotherapy, radiation, immunotherapy, or targeted therapy reported less fatigue, anxiety, depression, and trouble sleeping. Remarkably, they also needed fewer hospital stays, and when they were admitted, their time in the hospital was much shorter.
This approach, offered through Memorial Sloan Kettering’s Integrative Medicine at Home program, costs $25 per month and is available to patients anywhere — not just those treated at MSK. Many patients find the classes give them both physical strength and emotional support by connecting with others going through cancer. Other services like acupuncture and music therapy can also play a role in making treatment more tolerable. Research continues to grow, with hopes of expanding access nationwide. For patients and caregivers, these integrative therapies provide a safe, evidence-based way to feel stronger and more supported throughout cancer treatment. (Source: Memorial Sloan Kettering)
Riding Through Cancer: Christy’s Story
Riding My Harley Through Cancer: Christy’s Stage 4 Lung Cancer Story
When Christy Erickson was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer at just 41, she feared she wouldn’t see her children grow up. But after months of unanswered questions and second opinions, genetic testing revealed her tumor carried an EGFR mutation—opening the door to a targeted therapy called osimertinib. This treatment, born from years of research, gave her what once seemed impossible: more time with her family and the chance to live fully, not just survive.
Christy has faced her journey with courage, faith, and determination. She’s checked off bucket-list dreams, from riding her own Harley to competing in strongman events, and she shares her story to encourage others to advocate for themselves. “Osimertinib gave me time,” she says—time to see her daughter graduate, time to rediscover joy, and time to inspire other patients that even after a stage IV diagnosis, hope and healing are possible. (Source: Winship Cancer Institute of Emory University)
Second Opinions Can Save Lives
Why Getting a Second Opinion for Cancer Can Save Your Life
Being told you have cancer is overwhelming, and it’s easy to feel pressured to start treatment right away. But getting a second opinion can make a huge difference—it may confirm the diagnosis, catch mistakes, or suggest new treatment options. For patients with stage 4 or hard-to-treat lung cancer, this extra step can open the door to advanced therapies and clinical trials not available everywhere.
Specialists at National Cancer Institute-designated centers look deeper than a single test. They review scans, biopsy slides, and genetic testing to match you with the best targeted therapy or immunotherapy. Many doctors welcome second opinions, and sometimes both teams can work together—giving you more support, not less.
Most importantly, a second opinion can give you peace of mind. Knowing your diagnosis and plan have been double-checked helps you move forward with confidence and focus on what matters most: your care and your life. (Source: Winship Magazine)
Read the complete article here >
Karen’s Fight, Eight Years and Counting
When Karen was first diagnosed with lung cancer at age 47, it came as a complete shock. A healthy, never-smoker with no family history, she suddenly found herself facing surgery to remove part of her lung and rounds of chemotherapy. For eight years her scans were clear—until the cancer returned in her ribs. Now living with stage 4 lung cancer, she is facing this new challenge with the same determination she had at the very beginning.
What gives Karen strength is the progress that’s been made in lung cancer research. Eight years ago, her mutation wasn’t even identifiable. Today, doctors not only know what it is, but there are already FDA-approved treatments available. Karen continues to live life fully—biking, traveling, taking classes—and believes every patient deserves to feel this hopeful. Her story is a powerful reminder that advances in treatment are giving people more options, more time, and more hope than ever before. (Source: Karen V. Blog)
Veteran Speaks Out to Save Others
Xavier Sanders spent 14 years proudly serving in the U.S. Air Force. But in 2022, his life changed when doctors discovered stage 4 lung cancer—despite never smoking. The cancer had already spread to his liver and brain. Now, Xavier is using his voice to speak out about the urgent need for earlier detection, better support, and more awareness—especially for service members exposed to burn pits and toxic chemicals during deployment.
He’s not just fighting for himself. Xavier is advocating for younger airmen who may not know what symptoms to watch for or how to get the right care. His wife, Chelsea, has become his strongest advocate—reminding others that “mental toughness” can sometimes hide real suffering. Together, they’re pushing for change in how military members with cancer are seen, heard, and supported.
Now a passionate advocate, Xavier is using his story and his brand, Trillionaires Only, to inspire others to fight with authenticity, courage, and hope. “Every day is a new day to fight,” he says. “We can’t afford to stay quiet.” (Source: Xavier’s Story, March 2024)
What’s Driving Lung Cancer in Nonsmokers?
What’s Driving Lung Cancer in Nonsmokers? Understanding RET-Positive Lung Cancer
Lung cancer isn’t just a smoker’s disease. In fact, up to 20% of lung cancer patients have never smoked, and many are younger women. One reason? Genetic mutations like RET fusions, which can drive cancer growth even without traditional risk factors. This type, called RET-positive lung cancer, is more common in never smokers and doesn’t show up on routine screenings.
That’s why genetic testing (also called biomarker testing) is critical. It can help doctors choose targeted treatments that work better and offer more hope—especially for patients with stage 4 or hard-to-treat lung cancer. Even if you’ve never smoked, if you’re experiencing unusual symptoms or have lung cancer in your family, talk to your doctor about testing. Early detection and personalized care are changing what’s possible. (Source: American Cancer Society, Yale Medicine, J Clin Oncol)
The Power of Friendship When Facing Cancer
When you’re walking through something as overwhelming as cancer, one of the most powerful lifelines you can hold onto is this: you don’t have to walk it alone.
I’m Dr. Sharon May with Stage4Hope, and I want to share two important truths backed by research—and rooted in real-life experience—that can bring you comfort and strength:
- Good friends truly matter.
- A positive mindset can make all the difference.
We already know that going through something difficult with a friend by your side makes it easier. But science now confirms this truth in a profound way. In Dr. James Coan’s research, people were given mild electric shocks—yes, you read that right!—but when they held the hand of someone they deeply cared about, the stress response in their brain significantly decreased. The pain was more bearable simply because someone they loved was there.
That’s the power of presence.
Another powerful study published in Psycho-oncology (2010) followed cancer survivors for eight years. They found that those who received meaningful emotional support just three months after their diagnosis experienced post-traumatic growth—they were better emotionally, mentally, and spiritually years later. Support doesn’t just help in the moment—it shapes how you move through your cancer journey and who you become on the other side.
So what does this mean for you?
It means you need people. And they need you, too.
Here are a few thoughts I hope will encourage you:
- Reach out to two or three friends. Keep those friendships going. Be intentional. Let the conversation be mutual—yes, talk about your cancer journey, but also listen your friend’s everyday stories. Friendship flows both ways.
- Join a group. If you didn’t have many close connections at the start of your journey, it’s never too late. A support group creates a place to belong, to connect, and to share with people who understand. You can also begin by joining one of our virtual women’s retreats. With gentle teaching and encouraging community you will find friendship and strength for your journey.
- Teach your friends how to walk this road with you. It’s okay to tell them what’s helpful and what’s not. Sometimes they won’t know what to say—help them out. You’ll learn together.
- Teach your family how to be there with you. This journey is difficult for both you and your family. Your family will go between grief for you and grief for themselves. Which means your spouse or children will, at times, struggle with their own emotions of fears, anger, depression, loss and grief. And for certain your family will not always say the most comforting things nor be there the way you hope. They will probably disappoint you leaving you hurt and maybe alone. Families are complicated, but now is the time to let go of resentment and small irritations. Make an effort to be there for each other, one struggle at a time, one day at a time. If it gets too complicated, reach out for professional help from a counselor or relationship coach.
- Keep being you. Cancer may be part of your story right now, but it is not the whole story. You are still you—funny, strong, sensitive, quirky, wise. Hold onto your identity and let it shine in your relationships.
- Stay connected to your world. You still have a family, a neighborhood, hobbies and routines. Keep participating in what makes life rich and meaningful. You have so much to give—and receive.
- Don’t isolate. This is the hardest part for some. But I gently encourage you: risk reaching out. Let someone be there for you. Hold someone’s hand—literally or figuratively. It truly makes a difference.
I’m cheering you on, friend. You are not alone. And here at Stage4Hope, we’re walking alongside you every step of the way.
If you’re looking for connection, encouragement, and growth, I invite you to join our upcoming women’s virtual retreat. It’s a time to rest, be renewed, and find community with other brave women walking their own journeys.
Reach out—we’d love to hear from you.
Author- Dr. Sharon May
The Importance of Social Support and Being Positive When Facing Cancer
- (2010, January 19). Type of social support matters for prediction of post-traumatic growth among cancer survivors.
- Coan, J.A., Schaefer, H.S., & Davidson, R.J. (2006). Lending a hand: Social regulation of the neural response to threat. Psychological Science.
Genetics Study Brings Lung Cancer Hope
A powerful new genetics study is offering fresh hope in the fight against lung cancer — especially for patients with rare mutations and those who’ve never smoked. The Lung Cancer Genetics Study, launched in 2024 by 23andMe and supported by nearly two dozen patient advocacy groups, is collecting genetic and clinical data from thousands of lung cancer patients to help uncover what drives this complex disease. It’s one of the first efforts of its kind to truly center patient voices from the beginning, ensuring that research reflects real-world experiences.
The project began with a friendship between two women living with lung cancer, Ilana Stromberg and Susan Troper Wojcicki, both mothers of five and determined to make a difference. Motivated by the lack of research and funding for lung cancer, especially RET-positive and other biomarker-driven subtypes, they envisioned a national lung cancer registry that could drive discoveries and lead to better, more personalized treatments. Susan’s passing in 2024 makes the study even more meaningful to those involved. Her legacy lives on through this groundbreaking initiative, which is expected to accelerate research and give families facing lung cancer a renewed sense of hope. (Source: 23andMe Blog)
Talc and Cancer: What to Know
Talc, a mineral found in some baby powders, cosmetics, medications, and even food, is now under serious review by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA). This attention comes after decades of debate and thousands of lawsuits linking talc to ovarian cancer—especially from using talc-containing powders in intimate areas. While the science isn’t yet settled, researchers agree on one troubling issue: talc is often contaminated with asbestos, a known cancer-causing substance. And because companies aren’t required to prove their talc is asbestos-free, consumers may be unknowingly exposed.
The strongest concern is for those who use talc-based powders or cosmetics regularly, especially around sensitive areas. Some studies suggest these users may face a higher risk of ovarian cancer. Experts recommend avoiding talc whenever possible and opting for safer alternatives like cornstarch. If you’ve used talc-containing products for many years—especially in your personal care routine—it’s worth discussing with your doctor. You can also check product safety through resources like the Environmental Working Group’s Skin Deep database. (Source: TIME Magazine)
Read the complete article here >
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